Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler - On Grief & Grieving
Updated: Feb 11
The Grand Canyon was not punished by windstorms over hundreds of years. In fact, it was created by them. David Kessler.
We all have to confront death at some point, whether it be the loss of a friend, family member, or our own death at a certain point. This book talks specifically about the grief of death, but we also must grieve what we lose along the way: relationships end, friendships change, things we relied on in the past for comfort are no longer there. Grief work is very powerful and valuable, especially given a culture that ignores and sweeps it under the rug in a minimizing way. What does it say about our culture that so many of us feel alone in the worst things we go through in our lives.
"Telling the story helps to dissipate the pain. Telling your story often and in detail is primal to the grieving process. You must get it out. Grief must be witnessed to be healed. Grief shared is grief abated. Support and bereavement groups are important, not only because they allow you to be with others who have experienced loss, but because they provide another forum for talking about the devastating events that befell your world. Tell your tale, because it reinforces that your loss mattered. There is something about taking the inner thoughts of your mind and speaking them out loud that helps put things in order. It can be the temporary scaffolding that holds up the rocked structure of your world. Telling the story helps to re-create and rebuild structure."
"In days long gone, elders sat in a circle, telling the stories to the young. These stories held enormous value. Today, in our "shut up, get over it, and move on" mentality, our society misses so much, it's no wonder we are a generation that longs to tell our stories. When someone is telling you their story over and over, they are trying to figure something out. There has to be a missing piece or they too would be bored. Rather than rolling your eyes and saying there she goes again, ask questions about parts that don't connect. Be the witness and even the guide. Look for what they want to know. There is a great invitation for dual exploration that we often miss in the midst of grief."